Miscellaneous Articles

10 Reasons I’m a Genius


  1. In Grade Six it only took me three weeks to read S.E. Hinton’s “Taming The Star Rider”
  2. I used to be pretty OK at Street Fighter II Turbo back in the day
  3. I often stroke my chin when making a poignant observation
  4. I can move light objects with my mind if I am outside and there is a strong breeze
  5. Gordon. If you don’t know what this means then you are obviously not a genius
  6. I can travel back in time if I close my eyes and think about the past really, really hard
  7. I once built a computer out of 4 unused wet naps, 6 used wet naps, 15 dried-out highlighters and a 17 pound bag of chicken feathers, thus providing the inspiration for the popular television drama McGuiver
  8. God asked me for advice on the ladies (pronounced Lay-Days) once
  9. I have never killed a hobo and been caught
  10. No one has conclusively proven that I am not a genius, unless you count those holier-then-thou MENSA jerks

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